All that Will Live Godly

Paul's epistles to Timothy were very poignant to me. Often my reading for class ends up going by without a thought, and I come to the end, having read every word, but having no clue what I had read. Not every time--but since in my head it is homework, it sort of fuzzes out sometimes.

But as I was reading through 1 and 2 Timothy, I found myself pausing several times to re-read a verse, mark it, make notes. I got stuck like this pretty quickly: the first verse that arrested me was 1 Tim 1:5 - "Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and of a good conscience, and of faith unfeigned." Normally, when I think of feigning faith, I have typically thought of the enlarging-their-phylacteries type of hypocrite, whose goal is to show others how faithful they are. But as I read this verse the thought struck me that perhaps even more harmful than convincing other people is feigning to yourself that you are more faithful than you are.

Another verse that made me pause was 2 Timothy 3:12 - "Yea, and all that will live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution." The beautiful thing about studying with the guidance of the Spirit is that you can see the scriptures in a whole different context, or in ways you hadn't ever thought of before. In this case, I realized that persecution doesn't only mean people being intolerant of your beliefs--in fact, here in Provo I rarely feel "persecuted" by other people. But what is hostile to my beliefs and my testimony is the fact that I live in a world of temptations, constantly wearing at my desire and resolve to keep the commandments and follow in the Savior's path.

So then the question quietly surfaced, If I live in a world full of temptations, with so much spiritual persecution all around me constantly, how can I consistently remain faithful? Fortunately I kept reading, and I found Titus 1:15 - "unto the pure all things are pure." As I look for good things in the world and focus on those instead of only avoiding the bad, I will see and recognize the good things more. Perhaps, I thought, even though temptations may surround me constantly, if I am pure and faithful, all things will be pure unto me.

When God Doesn't Act in Power

Beginning in Acts 21, Paul is persecuted, arrested, bound, beaten, tried, falsely accused, and then finally, in the end of chapter 24, is left in prison under Felix for two years. Two years, just because Felix wanted to extort a bribe, and to please the Jews. What did Paul even do for two years in jail? Then after the two years he was summoned to trial again, but only as a scheme by the Jews to kill him. Paul appealed to Caesar, and was transported by ship, but the ship was wrecked. When he finally reached Rome he was kept under house arrest for another two years, just because Caesar was too busy to see him.

Now to put this story in context, not long before Paul had left on this doomed journey, Peter had been miraculously delivered from prison twice. Why hadn't Paul been delivered as Peter had been?

At the end of last semester I was waiting patiently for my letter of acceptance to BYU's film program--I had plenty of experience, met all the expectations, followed all the steps, and all of my film friends said I was probably the most likely to get accepted. But my letter came, and it was not an acceptance letter.

So this whole semester I've been trying to decide what major to study instead. I finally decided on advertising, and I started talking to advisers and learning more about how to get into that program. What I found out was I would have to burn another semester taking the pre-req courses, then after that semester ended I could apply to the program, and if I got accepted, I could begin classes in the major the semester after that. Why did I have to be set back a whole year and a half? It's a little upsetting.

But I think it's those times when the Lord doesn't make bare His mighty arm, when He doesn't deliver you, that your faith can really show. During his years in confinement he wrote several of his epistles now included in the New Testament; he taught people in the prisons, and people who came to his house to hear him; he testified before kings and rulers of the world. He accomplished miracles--just as God had promised him--because he wasn't delivered.